SHOULD MARRIAGE LICENSES EXPIRE ?
Posted: October 16, 2012 Filed under: Alimony, Family law, prenuptial / premarital agreements, Uncategorized, Uncontested Divorce | Tags: connecticut lawyer, lawrence, license, lochiatto, lois, marriage, marriage stress, matt richtel, mystic lawyer, prenuptial agreement; divorce, separation, seven year itch 1 CommentWriting recently for the New York Times, author Matt Richtel in an article entitled, ” Till Death, or 20 Years, Do Us Part”, mused about whether setting an expiration date for marriage might be the best way to address new attitudes about marriage — those that render it expendable depending on circumstances.
Richtel, who writes most often about technology, makes his case for a twenty-year contract with tongue in cheek but does make the serious point that no real mechanism exists, short of prenuptial contracts, to mitigate the drama and stress of divorces that happen at statistically predictable stages of marriage.
Richtel implies that making marriage contracts renewable might have the double advantage of lessening the stigma of divorce where it proves inevitable, and, conversely, of raising the consciousness of couples whose marriages will grow stronger if re-examined and effectively re-negotiated at intervals that coincide with marriages’ biggest stressors. Various experts cited in the article suggest that these milestones involve the birth of a child, a job change, the death of a family member, or when the couple finds themselves living in an empty nest. While most of these events are unpredictable, others are not. Generally, for example, empty-nest syndrome shows up at roughly the twenty-year mark. The president of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, Kenneth Altshuler, quoted in the article, noted that, in his own practice, divorces seem to cluster around the 7 and 20 year marks. As it turns out, the seven year itch may be more than a movie title.
None of this is to suggest seriously that renewable marriage contracts are really ripe for serious thought given the tenor current political dialogue on the overall issue of marriage. Instead, however, Richtel’s article makes us think more seriously about what should be done at the beginning of a marriage to lessen the trauma and bitter discord that so often characterizes the end.
True, prenuptial agreements do put a temporary crimp in the image of unsullied romance that we expect to survive from the first date to the end of the honeymoon. (Although anyone who has ever planned a large wedding knows that only a strong dose of denial can keep that illusion alive.)
On the other hand, at what other point in a relationship will a frank and, mercifully, hypothetical discussion about the practical issue of divorce take a lesser toll on a couple’s relationship? Balance this against the angst that the couple will suffer if their marriage is among the half that end in divorce and at a time when love and goodwill are no longer the most important underpinnings of the negotiations. Once that comparison is made, the only remaining question is what will better serve the couple and their future children — betting everything that they will beat the odds, or promising from the start to do the right thing in the unexpected event that they won’t?
NO-FAULT DIVORCE VS. UNCONTESTED DIVORCE
Posted: February 1, 2012 Filed under: Grounds for Divorce, Uncontested Divorce | Tags: connecticut grounds for divorce, dissolution marriage, no fault divorce, stonington lawyer, uncontested divorce Leave a comment
Connecticut, like most other states, allows for divorce – or, as we call it in Connecticut, dissolution of marriage– on a number of grounds. These grounds include, among others, adultery, willful desertion, habitual intemperance, intolerable cruelty, and the irretrievable breakdown of the marriage. It is the last of these — irretrievable breakdown of the marriage — that is almost universally used in divorce cases in Connecticut. The legislature added the grounds of irretrievable breakdown in 1973 making Connecticut one of many so-called of no-fault states. Unfortunately, this designation causes some confusion among divorcing couples to this day.
With very few exceptions, lawyers now site no-fault grounds rather than fault grounds in even the most bitterly contested cases. This is because choice of grounds relates to only one of very many issues a court must decide in a divorce. That single issue is whether the divorce, itself ,will be granted. The intent of adding a no-fault language to the list of grounds for divorce was to make it unnecessary for parties to present evidence of wrongdoing in order to end their marriage.
While there were some who saw the advent of no-fault divorce as destructive to the institution of marriage, the common wisdom was, and remains, that, by making it unnecessary to present proof of a spouse’s faults or failures just to end a marriage, couples and families could emerge from the process with minimal damage.
Still, adding a no-fault grounds to the list of fault grounds was never intended to prevent the court from hearing evidence about bad behaviour in deciding other issues in divorce cases. Instead, it only meant that judges no longer had the option to deny a divorce if there had been insufficient proof of fault such as adultery or cruelty. If one spouse testifies that the marriage has broken down irretrievably, it has, whether or not the other spouse agrees. Thus, one issue of the case has been decided.
Aggrieved spouses may still produce evidence of all sorts of wrongdoing in an effort to convince a court to
award or not to award alimony, and to divide the marital property in a way that favors them. On issues of child custody and visitation, the court is obligated to resolve disputes based solely on the best interests of the children. Here, too, if one of the parties has behaved in a way that threatens the well-being of the children — everything from a pattern of disengagement, to neglect or abuse — proof of those behaviors are relevant to the interests of the children and are therefore admissible. For all of these reasons, referring to Connecticut as a no-fault state can be a bit misleading.
So, what is an uncontested divorce? It is one in which fault — whether or not it played a part in the breakdown of the marriage — is never brought to the attention of the court because virtually all issues, including custody, support, alimony, the division of property, and more, have been resolved by the parties, themselves. In those cases, the court is simply provided with an agreement which will be approved provided it is not manifestly unfair or detrimental to the interests of the children.
Even in truly uncontested divorces, the court has an obligation to review the agreement so all of the documentation that is required in contested cases, is also required in uncontested cases. This documentation includes properly completed financial affidavits. In families with children, the parties must also submit affidavits in which they swear that no other court is considering issues affecting the children.
Sometimes, cases are technically uncontested because one party is not participating. In these cases, the party seeking the divorce must also follow strict rules which assure that the absent party has been properly notified of the action and has been given a fair opportunity to participate.
Couples planning an uncontested divorce, and even individuals who expect that their absent spouse will not oppose a divorce, should still take great care to be sure that their agreement or, in the case of unopposed divorces, their proposal, is truly fair and reasonable and that it covers all of the issues that should be addressed. Although the court does have an obligation to review the agreement for manifest unfairness, it is extremely unusual for judges to interfere in any way with a completed agreement. Moreover, judges are not permitted to provide legal advice to the parties who appear before them. Also, it can be nearly impossible to correct certain portion of unfair agreements once they have been made part of a decree of dissolution. Therefore, even those preparing for an uncontested divorce will benefit for the advice of experience counsel.
N0-FAULT DIVORCE VS. UNCONTESTED DIVORCE IN CONNECTICUT
Posted: February 1, 2012 Filed under: Family law, Grounds for Divorce, Uncontested Divorce | Tags: connecticut divorce, divorce lawyers, no fault, uncontested divorce Leave a comment
Connecticut, like most other states, allows for divorce — or, as we call it in Connecticut, dissolution of marriage– on a number of grounds. These grounds include, among others, adultery, willful desertion, habitual intemperance, intolerable cruelty, and the irretrievable breakdown of the marriage. It is the last of these — irretrievable breakdown of the marriage — that is almost universally used in divorce cases in Connecticut. The legislature added the grounds of irretrievable breakdown in 1973 making Connecticut one of many so-called of no-fault states. Unfortunately, this designation causes some confusion among divorcing couples to this day.
With very few exceptions, lawyers now site no-fault grounds rather than fault grounds in even the most bitterly contested cases. This is because choice of grounds relates to only one of very many issues a court must decide in a divorce. That single issue is whether the divorce, itself will be granted. The intent of adding a no-fault language to the list of grounds for divorce was to make it unnecessary for parties to present evidence of wrongdoing in order to end their marriage.
While there were some who saw the advent of no-fault divorce as destructive to the institution of marriage, the common wisdom was and remains that, by making it unnecessary to present proof of a spouse’s faults or failures just to end a marriage, couples and families could emerge from the process with minimal damage.
Still, adding a no-fault grounds to the list of fault grounds was never intended to prevent the court from hearing evidence about bad behaviour in deciding other issues in divorce cases. Instead, it only meant that judges no longer had the option to deny a divorce if there had been insufficient proof of fault such as adultery or cruelty. If one spouse testifies that the marriage has broken down irretrievably, it has, whether or not the other spouse agrees. Thus, one issue of the case has been decided.
Aggrieved spouses may still produce evidence of all sorts of wrongdoing in an effort to convince a court to award or not to award alimony, and to divide the marital property in a way that favors them. On issues of child custody and visitation, the court is obligated to resolve disputes based solely on the best interests of the children. Here, too, if one of the parties has behaved in a way that threatens the well-being of the children — everything from a pattern of disengagement, to neglect or abuse — proof of those behaviors are relevant to the interests of the children and are therefore admissible. For all of these reasons, referring to Connecticut as a no-fault state can be a bit misleading.
So, what is an uncontested divorce? It is one in which fault — whether or not it played a part in the breakdown of the marriage — is never brought to the attention of the court because virtually all issues, including custody, support, alimony, the division of property, and more, have been resolved by the parties, themselves. In those cases, the court is simply provided with an agreement which will be approved provided it is not manifestly unfair or detrimental to the interests of the children.
Even in truly uncontested divorces, the court has an obligation to review the agreement so all of the documentation that is required in contested cases, is also required in uncontested cases. This documentation includes properly completed financial affidavits. In families with children, the parties must also submit affidavits in which they swear that no other court is considering issues affecting the children.
Sometimes, cases are technically uncontested because one party is not participating. In these cases, the party seeking the divorce must also follow strict rules which assure that the absent party has been properly notified of the action and has been given a fair opportunity to participate.
Couples planning an uncontested divorce, and even individuals who expect that their absent spouse will not oppose a divorce, should still take great care to be sure that their agreement or, in the case of unopposed divorces, their proposal, is truly fair and reasonable and that it covers all of the issues that should be addressed. Although the court does have an obligation to review the agreement for manifest unfairness, it is extremely unusual for judges to interfere in any way with a completed agreement. Moreover judges are not permitted to provide legal advice to the parties who appear before them. Also, it can be nearly impossible to correct certain portion of unfair agreements once they have been made part of a decree of dissolution. Therefore, even those preparing for an uncontested divorce will benefit for the advice of experience counsel.
